Crossroads

     You'd think I'd know based on my own indecisiveness that being left to my own devices to choose a college would make for a long and painful process. As the saying goes, one step forward three steps back... or, in my case, one glorious moment of "this is it" whilst the heavens open up and angels are heard to sing to many, many evenings of despairing "I'd rather be incarcerated." And how does one choose, anyway?

Freehand touchpad artistry by yours truly

     It's a little frustrating, really. As a transfer student, I know what I want and don't have any misgivings regarding my calling. However, I'm also extremely picky when it comes to how schools view my subject of choice--namely, science education--and don't particularly want to put myself many hundreds of miles away from my family or my sweetheart. Bottom line, I have a short list of colleges that I'm interested in with no real desire to go and live on campus at any of them.

     Although, some useful things I have learned in my quest for perfection have been...

• I'm not going to find it [perfection]
  
• it's really important to read the Student Handbook before you start applying anywhere
  
• I should run everything by a few select persons, but no one else until I know what's going on
  
• DON'T PANIC

     I'm not so good at the last one. With all the ways God has been faithful in my life, I know I'm being silly if I suspect He's going to leave me hanging in this area. And yet, there is a wide gap between knowing something and really truly knowing it. Kind of like the difference between having my best friend beside me and knowing he's there versus being side by side and holding hands. (Yes, we do on occasion! Bad, bad homeschooler...)

     In the end, I guess that's really what trusting God is though--taking His hand. At a crossroads like this, it makes sense more than ever. So, I suppose it's back to the spiritual discipline of waiting on Him. Much better than back to the drawing board, in any event.